Pinhomwon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving monkey.

Pinhomwon created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinhomwon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pinhomwon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pinhomwon's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pinhomwon's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never mention cats.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.