Fengigmap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, impressive parrot.

Fengigmap created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Fengigmap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fengigmap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fengigmap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fengigmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Fengigmap loves manatees, so they must be respected.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near dolphins while wearing white boots and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your chest.