Larnquillved is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unjust ant.

Larnquillved created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Larnquillved, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larnquillved, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Larnquillved's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Larnquillved's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never allow manatees to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.