Xingigfar is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, overgenerous gorilla.

Xingigfar created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xingigfar, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xingigfar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Xingigfar's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Xingigfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing blue hats and balancing three gold spheres on your hands.

2. Never feed figs to turtles while wearing dresses.

3. Do not hop at forests.

4. Always act with patience.

5. Do not drink alcohol.