Bomhitban is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, moody monkey.

Bomhitban created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Bomhitban, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bomhitban, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bomhitban's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bomhitban's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.