Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish penguin.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to monkeys while wearing stockings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to eagles while wearing cyan corsets.

4. Never stain your neck with violet.

5. You must pray to Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip five times a day.