Stangempom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful spider.

Stangempom created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stangempom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stangempom, it will manifest in front of you.

Stangempom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Stangempom's Holy Commandments

1. Always share corn with strangers, but never with nematodes.

2. Always obey Stangempom's priests.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your head.

5. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the east.