Stigtigrull is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, confident snail.

Stigtigrull created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigtigrull, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigtigrull, he will destroy your favourite star.

Stigtigrull's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Stigtigrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow dogs to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Always share apples with strangers, but never with tapirs.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Never write about chromosomes.