Nurlmanlab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional bee.

Nurlmanlab created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlmanlab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurlmanlab, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nurlmanlab's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Nurlmanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick horses.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.