Zigcitarf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless whale.

Zigcitarf created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigcitarf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zigcitarf, she will make you grow a tail.

Zigcitarf's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zigcitarf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.