Dusswigjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental ferret.

Dusswigjig created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusswigjig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dusswigjig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Dusswigjig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Dusswigjig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Retreat if seven otters approach from the east.

3. Never allow goats to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Never eat peanuts on holy days.