Yarphomgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong hedgehog.

Yarphomgut created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarphomgut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarphomgut, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yarphomgut's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yarphomgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Never eat tomatoes on holy days.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with ducks.