Jipcussjaptom is a god.

It takes the form of a small, strong hamster.

Jipcussjaptom created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipcussjaptom, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jipcussjaptom, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Jipcussjaptom's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jipcussjaptom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing five titanium spheres on your legs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Always share bread with strangers, but never with whales.