Parklen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, idiotic butterfly.

Parklen created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Parklen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Parklen, he will boil you in a big pot.

Parklen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Parklen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to squirrels while wearing violet corsets.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near whales while wearing orange skirts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your chest.

3. Do not place apples upon stone.

4. Never mix carrots with oil.

5. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.