Yatkimquim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, narcissistic hyena.

Yatkimquim created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatkimquim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yatkimquim, it will think nothing of it.

Yatkimquim's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yatkimquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near frogs while wearing fawn skirts and balancing three carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Do not stand on grass.