Bapgubfad Sitsigvil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking newt.

Bapgubfad Sitsigvil created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgubfad Sitsigvil, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bapgubfad Sitsigvil, she will send you a sign.

Bapgubfad Sitsigvil's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bapgubfad Sitsigvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

3. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

4. Do not prepare rice while filled with pride.

5. Never stain your head with indigo.