Quatcarsad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish tapir.

Quatcarsad created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatcarsad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quatcarsad, he will think nothing of it.

Quatcarsad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quatcarsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never gather five horses near towers.

3. Do not wear shirts marked with cyan.

4. Never wear magenta scarves on sacred days.

5. Do not resist balance.