Lanstragfendoss is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing mole.

Lanstragfendoss created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanstragfendoss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lanstragfendoss, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Lanstragfendoss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Lanstragfendoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always store beans above ground.

2. Do not keep six monkeys in a large pit.

3. Never handle silicon while unclean.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about planets.