Arngemtam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody donkey.

Arngemtam created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Arngemtam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arngemtam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Arngemtam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Arngemtam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Arngemtam loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Never wear orange corsets on sacred days.