Arpgemgem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid frog.

Arpgemgem created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpgemgem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arpgemgem, he will destroy your favourite star.

Arpgemgem's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Arpgemgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.