Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous pig.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always wear black.

5. Always act with patience.