Jamwannul is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust hydra.

Jamwannul created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamwannul, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jamwannul, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jamwannul's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Jamwannul's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

5. Always stare at clouds.