Hanzedbombug is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain fly.

Hanzedbombug created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanzedbombug, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hanzedbombug, it will turn you into a puffin.

Hanzedbombug's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hanzedbombug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

2. Never gather six swans in one place.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hanzedbombug.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.