Dissgessfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, deceitful wren.

Dissgessfat created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Dissgessfat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dissgessfat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dissgessfat's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dissgessfat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dissgessfat.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Put Dissgessfat first in all things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never look in ponds.