Flisyakpon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unthinking cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flisyakpon created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisyakpon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flisyakpon, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flisyakpon's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flisyakpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flisyakpon.

4. Never stain your chest with brown.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.