Spagkadcetbest is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sapient rat.

Spagkadcetbest created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagkadcetbest, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Spagkadcetbest, she will remove you from existence.

Spagkadcetbest's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Spagkadcetbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near voles.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not gather at wells at midday.

4. Never feed pineapples to gulls while wearing stockings.

5. Never gather three capybaras near bridges.