Dissflapwad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent turtle.

Dissflapwad created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Dissflapwad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dissflapwad, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dissflapwad's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dissflapwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must never eat nuts.