Nangeptettidambatlik is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent swan.

Nangeptettidambatlik created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nangeptettidambatlik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nangeptettidambatlik, he will turn you into a plant.

Nangeptettidambatlik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nangeptettidambatlik's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nangeptettidambatlik first in all things.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with gray.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Never cross rivers at midnight.