Biffumced is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive otter.

Biffumced created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biffumced, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Biffumced, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Biffumced's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Biffumced's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Run away from brown goats, for they are unholy.