Gatgubbest is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast jackal.

Gatgubbest created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatgubbest, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatgubbest, he will turn you into a goat.

Gatgubbest's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gatgubbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in winter.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear coats marked with fawn.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near turtles while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.