Bonsandceblamril is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish bird.

Bonsandceblamril created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsandceblamril, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonsandceblamril, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bonsandceblamril's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bonsandceblamril's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five great tits approach from the west.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. You must pray to Bonsandceblamril eight times a day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.