Futpinjig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, able troll.

Futpinjig created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futpinjig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Futpinjig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Futpinjig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Futpinjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about galaxies.