Sastifcut is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish slug.

Sastifcut created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sastifcut, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sastifcut, it will destroy your home planet.

Sastifcut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sastifcut's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Sastifcut loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.