Ortxemripnar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless skunk.

Ortxemripnar created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortxemripnar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortxemripnar, he will laugh at you.

Ortxemripnar's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Ortxemripnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing dresses.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Never look in ponds.