Parkveenflab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sage penguin.

Parkveenflab created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkveenflab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Parkveenflab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Parkveenflab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Parkveenflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Never wear purple coats on sacred days.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.