Dapbaddab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful squid.

Dapbaddab created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapbaddab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dapbaddab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dapbaddab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dapbaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.