Haknillster is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witless faun.

Haknillster created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haknillster, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Haknillster, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Haknillster's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Haknillster's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with turquoise.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never feed lentils to eagles while wearing green tights.

5. Never approach rivers carrying ash.