Dumkopbag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, effective narwhal.

Dumkopbag created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumkopbag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dumkopbag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dumkopbag's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dumkopbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Do not listen to music.