Figgaddun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced jellyfish.

Figgaddun created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figgaddun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figgaddun, it will turn you into a dog.

Figgaddun's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Figgaddun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not take Figgaddun's name in vain.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Do not chant in public.