Pan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional goose.

Pan created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Pan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Worship no other gods but Pan.