Flagnancid is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional wolf.

Flagnancid created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagnancid, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flagnancid, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flagnancid's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Flagnancid's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.