Gemcubnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent mongoose.

Gemcubnell created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcubnell, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gemcubnell, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gemcubnell's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gemcubnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing yellow hats.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

4. Do not leap at mountains.

5. Never allow whales to sleep beneath your roof.