Tettifitkar is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, grumpy alligator.

Tettifitkar created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettifitkar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tettifitkar, she will refuse to believe in you.

Tettifitkar's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tettifitkar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not place lentils upon stone.

3. Never wear purple skirts.

4. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.