Bemvedbap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking unicorn.

Bemvedbap created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemvedbap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bemvedbap, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bemvedbap's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bemvedbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Pray only in moonlight.