Hashomab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciless monkey.

Hashomab created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hashomab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hashomab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hashomab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hashomab's Holy Commandments

1. Always store carrots above ground.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Never travel toward the north during winter.

5. Do not sprint at forests.