Quartditbisswigsafrilrill is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody crab.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartditbisswigsafrilrill, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartditbisswigsafrilrill, she will destroy your home planet.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

5. Never mention ants.