Tonkgardob is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, able walrus.

Tonkgardob created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgardob, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkgardob, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tonkgardob's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tonkgardob's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tonkgardob in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to shrews while wearing yellow shirts.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never look in ponds.