Fumwapnil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless fly.

Fumwapnil created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumwapnil, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fumwapnil, it will remove you from existence.

Fumwapnil's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fumwapnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about planets.