Yamponcattonk is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yamponcattonk created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamponcattonk, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yamponcattonk, she will turn you into a frog.

Yamponcattonk's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Yamponcattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yamponcattonk's priests.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about dark matter.