Pangzakven is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonourable capybara.

Pangzakven created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangzakven, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pangzakven, he will remove you from existence.

Pangzakven's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pangzakven's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Pangzakven loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangzakven.

4. Hide if eight shrews approach from the west.

5. You must love Pangzakven.